Chris May - Funny Stuff

The RIAA are fricking CLUELESS!

Chris May — Thu, 04 Sep 2003 22:08:17 GMT

"Overall, recorded music sales are down 31 percent since mid-2000, when the Napster online file-sharing phenomenon was in full bloom", said RIAA President Cary Sherman.

No crap? So you are saying that when Napster was going full speed, you sales were 44.9% higher??? (Side note, if you think 44.9 should be "31", then you are idiot too, and need to take a math class) So basically what the RIAA is saying, is that from the time that they started suing everyone and everything involved with P2P, sales of CDs have FALLEN 31%??? But... this is BECAUSE of the P2P networks?!?!?!?

Let's think this one through....

year = 2000, P2P Programs = on everyones computer, record sales = really good

year = 2003, P2P users/companies being sued, record sales = shit

Someone with a brain please help out those fools.

Anyone with any foresight knows the CD is on it's way out. It is an OLD and JUNKY piece of technology. The RIAA might think that they can stop technology, but they are fools to think this. The problem is that the future of music doesn't involve "music labels". All you need is a server and some bandwidth and you can sell your album to everyone on earth.

Gigli

Chris May — Wed, 30 Jul 2003 15:06:30 GMT

I told everyone that I could that the movie "Gigli" was going to suck like crazy, and NO ONE was going to go see it. This was even before any previews for the movie were available.

Was I right?

'I was shocked," says "Good Morning America'''s Joel Siegel.

"It's horrible," moans Roger Friedman of Foxnews.com. "The worst movie ever made."

The Rules

Chris May — Fri, 13 Jun 2003 20:10:46 GMT

My friend Paul sent me this, it's very funny, but very true:

THE RULES -- THIS TIME BY MEN!!!!!
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note . These are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us bitching about you leaving it down.
1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!
1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes -- tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
1. "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Check your oil! Please.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. Peanuts are as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
1. I'm in shape. ROUND is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that; it's like camping.

G'Dub and the Segway

Chris May — Fri, 13 Jun 2003 15:24:33 GMT

These are some funny pics. Dubya trying out the Segway, and nearly doing a face plant.

Only In Florida

Chris May — Mon, 02 Jun 2003 22:04:55 GMT

Only in Florida, the only state run by a Bush, could you find a sign like this:

In case it isn't clear, arrows are pointing to the right.